Sacrificing
my self entirely and not at all is two different sets as all know.. I sit here
by my bed sipping hot ceylon still recovering from my long awaited high temperature fever, coughing out
yellow green phlegm, mucus sooo thick that it blocks walls of my respiratory
passages. .. is what ive been sooo un patiently hoping and waiting to come, to
happen.. why s that? So can take sick leave lah…what else? But my so worrying
concerned lady boss just wouldn’t stop sms ing and calling me to check my
conditions..why cant they just leave me alone for a day.. my mind still
occupies a lot on my coming big day .. that brings to the topic of sacrifice
!!! my buddy whos not only been nearly dumped by his wife and also for getting
his crotch almost chopped off was unfortunately given a warning pass this time for
many mistakes most men do.. and that is remembering our lover’s birthday.. I
admit (sorry honey) no matter how many times we kept reminding our self.
Jotting the date down in diary, calendars or some pieces of notes lay hidden in
some unfinished novel.. we the male species still find it hard to remember
special dates.. my buddy did not forget to get a gift for his wife but!! oh well,firstly
he got the month wrong,secondly even spelt
her name wrongly .. a different name entirely.. what an S hole id say..hehhehe..
I guess ending bachelorship is not bad after all.. firstly u get to have
breakfast made by a wife, having all your sleeves ironed, some one to listen to
your brags.. and most of all you get to wake not alone anymore after of course a satisfying overtime on the sheets..
I was at kg
air shoplots not many years ago, evenings u get to see tukang jual ubat for men
with erection problem in action … so one
I can never forget.. he said..’senang saja mau jaga bini, diarang mau dua
barang saja.. atas kita kasih makan beras!! bawah kita kasih makan keras!!!
Hahaha.Which I think is a true fact but can use
50years ago only lah… but I really want to share here is a bit of a warning or
some words of wisdom to my fellow married buddies or those who are about to
share a woman for the rest of their life.. women please take not also…
What he
says and what he really means..
‘I m going
fishing at tamparuli river’
This really
means he’s going to stand by a stream with a stick in his hand all day while
the fish swim by in complete safety.(he’s escaping chores as well)
‘ it’s a
guy thing.you wouldn’t understand honey’
He is
acting with no rational thought. So wives don’t even hope for a logical
explanation.
‘Dear, can
I help with dinner?’
He wants to
know why it isn’t already on the table.
‘uh huh.’
Sure, honey.’ ‘yes dear.’
This means
absolutely nothing. It’s a conditioned response.
‘it would
take too long to explain’ or ‘its hard to explain dear.’
He has no
idea how it works.
‘we re
going to be late honey’
He thinks
he has a legitimate excuse for driving like a maniac later ..
‘take a
break, honey. you’re working too hard’
He cant
hear the tv over the vacuum cleaner.
‘that’s
interesting, dear.’ or ‘yeah..you ve told me that already honey.’
He is
wondering why you re still talking.
‘hey, I ve
got my reasons for what I m doing.’
He is hoping
he can think of some pretty soon…
‘I cant
find my socks’ or ‘have you seen my tool box?’
It didn’t
fall into his outstretched hands, so he’s completely clueless.
‘you know I
could never love anyone else’ or ‘you make me happy.’
Realizes it
could be worse without her..
‘you look
terrific.’ or ‘ that’s perfect for you.’
He is
pleading with you not to try on one more outfit. He’s starving..
‘I m not
lost. I know exactly where we are’.
He’s
wondering if anyone will ever see you alive again.
Now it’s the ladies turn…of words women use..
‘fine ‘
This the
word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to
shut up. Never use fine to describe how a woman looks.. this will cause to have
one of those arguments..
‘five
minutes’ or ‘ just awhile more .’
This is
half and hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is
going to last before you take out the trash, so its an even trade..
‘nothing’
This means ’something,’
and you should be on your toes. Nothing usually used to describe the feeling a
woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down , and backward..
Nothing
also usually signifies an argument that will last ‘five minutes’ and end with
‘fine’.
‘go
ahead’or ”go lah.’(with raised eyebrows)
This is a
dare… one that will result in a woman getting upset over ‘nothing’ and will end
up with the word ‘fine.’
‘go
ahead’(normal eyebrows).
This means
‘I give up’ or ‘do what you want because I don’t care’. You will get a ‘raised
eyebrow go ahead’ in just a few minutes, followed by ‘nothing’ and ‘fine.’
She will
talk to you in about ‘five minutes,’ when she cools off..
(loud sigh)hmmmmmmph
This is not
actually a word but a nonverbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud
sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time
arguing with you over ‘ nothing .’
(soft sigh)hmmph
Again , not
a word but a nonverbal statement. Soft sighs mean that she is content. Your
best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.
‘that s
okay,’
This is one
of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man.. that’s okay
means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for what
ever it is that you have done. That’s okay is often used with raised eyebrow
‘fine.’
‘go ahead !’
At some
point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.
‘please
do.’
This is not
a statement.. it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with
an excuse for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have fair chance
with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn’t get a ‘that’s okay.’
‘ thanks.’
A woman is
thanking you, do not faint. Just say, ‘you re welcome.’
‘thanks a
lot.’
This is much
different from thanks. A woman will say ‘thanks a lot’ when she is really
ticked off at you.. if signifies that you have offended her in some callous
way, and it will be followed by a loud sigh. Be careful not to ask what is
wrong after the loud sigh… she will only tell you nothing…
My fellow
male friends.. to marry is not for getting someone to do you chores, but to
share the responsibilities and providing each other’s needs.. love and
understanding, care and forgiving, share and respecting… God bless us all..
see you all in December this year… ciao ciao arrivederci !!!
